Eight weeks. SYMBIS+ assessment. Family-of-origin work. A stress-tested frame for the union you're proposing to each other. You leave with a written Decision Architecture Report — a documented proceed, pause, or no, grounded in evidence rather than feelings. Available worldwide via Zoom.
Book a Free Discovery CallLove is real. So is doubt. And most couples standing where you are right now make the biggest decision of their adult life with no structured way to weigh what they actually know about each other against what they're hoping.
You've probably read articles. Taken quizzes. Had long talks on long drives. What you haven't had is architecture — a rigorous process designed to surface the load-bearing questions, document where you each actually stand, and produce a documented answer you can both look at honestly.
I don't give advice. I give you architecture.
Architecture Before the Ring is for couples who want to make this decision on purpose. We run the SYMBIS+ assessment, build a shared vocabulary you both speak, map your families of origin, surface and negotiate the proposals you're each bringing into the union, and stress-test the frame against real-life scenarios.
At the end of eight weeks, you have a written Decision Architecture Report. A proceed, a pause, or a no — documented, with the reasoning visible. Not a feeling. A finding.
I don't reinvent the wheel. I use what's been proven — and I bring 38 years inside my own marriage and 500+ couples to the table alongside it.
SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is the gold standard in pre-marital assessment. You'll each complete it individually, then we debrief together — surfacing personalities, love styles, communication patterns, emotional health, and the friction points that exist whether or not you've named them yet. This becomes the baseline for everything that follows.
Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman over 40+ years of relationship research, Gottman identifies the specific behaviors that predict relationship outcomes. In Architecture Before the Ring, we use Gottman not as theory but as construction material — vocabulary you'll both speak, joints you'll both rely on, and the framework you'll use to read each other long after the program ends.
Each phase builds the one before it. By Session 8, the architecture is complete and the decision is documented.
Before we propose anything, we need to see what's actually there. The first three sessions establish the SYMBIS+ baseline, install the shared vocabulary you'll use for the rest of the program, and map the families of origin you each carry into this union.
With the baseline established, we move into the proposal each of you is actually making to the other — and the construction of a shared frame that both of you sign.
A frame that hasn't been stress-tested isn't a frame, it's a wish. The last two sessions push the architecture against real scenarios — and then we deliver the Decision Architecture Report.
Every 90-minute session follows the same intentional structure. The repetition isn't a limitation — the structure is the medicine.
| Time | Element | Description |
|---|---|---|
| 0—10 min | Check-In | Brief temperature read — how are you both arriving today, separately and together. |
| 10—20 min | Last Week Review | What you applied between sessions. Wins, friction, surprises — all of it goes in the room. |
| 20—55 min | Core Content | Session-specific work: assessment debrief, vocabulary, family map, negotiation, stress test, or DAR delivery. |
| 55—75 min | Couples Practice | Guided exercise completed together in the session, with Andy facilitating and observing in real time. |
| 75—85 min | Synthesis | What are the 2—3 most important things from today? What's the one action between now and next week? |
| 85—90 min | Week Ahead | Specific assignment: a conversation to have, a worksheet to complete, or a frame to test. |
By Session 8, you have documents, vocabulary, a signed frame, and a written decision. The materials don't expire when the program ends.
Your full SYMBIS+ personalized assessment report — yours to keep and revisit
Shared Sound / Workable / Watch / Concern vocabulary, installed for both partners
Family Map for each of you — patterns, expectations, and inherited assumptions documented
Completed Proposal Worksheet — the explicit terms you're each offering the other
Three-Column Family of Origin document: keep, change, leave behind
Scenario Worksheets — the frame stress-tested against the next decade of real life
Your written Decision Architecture Report — a documented proceed, pause, or no
Gottman communication tools you can apply immediately — Four Horsemen antidotes, Bids for Connection, and more
"By Session 8, you'll have an architecture — not an opinion. A documented frame, a stress-tested decision, and the vocabulary to keep reading each other after the report is signed."
— Andy Uhlig, Certified SYMBIS Facilitator
We're not religious. Is this faith-based?
Spiritual but not religious. Faith-optional. The SYMBIS+ assessment does include a section on faith and values because those are real dimensions of any union — but how you engage that section is entirely up to you. This program works for couples of all backgrounds, beliefs, and none.
How do sessions work? Are they in-person or virtual?
All sessions are conducted via Zoom, which means Architecture Before the Ring is available worldwide. Sessions are 90 minutes, scheduled weekly at a time that works for both of you. You'll need a private space where you can both be present and focused — not a coffee shop, not the back seat of a car.
What is the Decision Architecture Report, exactly?
It's a written document I deliver to you in Session 8. It contains a documented finding — proceed, pause, or no recommendation — grounded in the assessment data, the family maps, the proposal terms, and the stress-test results. Not a feeling I had. A finding supported by the work we did together. You both read it. You both sign it. It is yours to keep.
What if the report says pause or no?
Then the program did its job. The point of Architecture Before the Ring is to make this decision on purpose, with evidence on the table. A pause is not a verdict on you as a couple — it's a documented finding that there's more architecture to build before a yes is honest. A no, when it shows up, is rare and serious, and I will walk you through it carefully and refer you to licensed support if needed.
Thirty minutes with Andy to talk about where you are, what you're hoping for, and whether Architecture Before the Ring is the right fit. No pressure, no sales pitch — just a real conversation.
Book a Free Discovery Call